the colors of your heart
by midnightdragonns
Summary: Remus Lupin decided that he didn't deserve to see colors or have a soulmate. Sirius Black decided that he would not be controlled or manipulated by the idea.


**Hi, I don't own anything. J.K. Rowling does. This is based on the soulmate au where your world is black and white until you touch your soulmate, and his inspired by Todrick Hall's song, Colors.**

* * *

Remus Lupin was always fascinated by the topic of soulmates and colors.

There was always talk between the older kids and adults that, if or when you touch your soulmate, your world would burst into colors. Colors such as red, blue, or even purple. Colors that only Remus Lupin, and others like himself, would dream of seeing and knowing.

Of course, not everyone would get to experience such joy. Even though people can spend a part of their lives trying to find their soulmates, many never do. Because in a world where there were billions of people who could come and go faster than you can say hello, chances of finding the one, or maybe few, person who could bring color into your life were incredibly slim.

But that didn't matter to little Remus Lupin. He couldn't have waited to find out who his soulmate was and to see the colors with his own eyes.

But that changed when he got bitten and was infected by lycanthropy.

Suddenly, Remus Lupin could not have cared less about soulmates.

He didn't care about seeing colors or finding ' _the one'_ anymore. He didn't care about wanting to see red, blue, and purple anymore. He didn't care about meeting who the universe thought he belonged with.

All he cared about was to be normal again.

He wanted to be able to play with other kids without worrying about them finding out that he was a werewolf. He wanted to not have to be chained and locked up once a night every month. He wanted to just be normal, normal, _normal._

Because who would want a soulmate that was a werewolf? Who would want a soulmate that turned into an ugly beast once a month? Who would want a soulmate that was considered an outcast of society? Who would want that?

Nobody. That's who.

So, Remus Lupin, at age six, decided that he didn't deserve a soulmate and would learn to live in a world that was always black and white. 

* * *

Sirius Black didn't really care too much about the concepts of soulmates and colors, but that didn't mean he wasn't curious about it.

It was an unspoken rule in the family to never mention the topic, but one day, he heard some of his older cousins whispering about it. Usually, he couldn't have cared less about anything they talked about, but this certain topic caught his attention. He could hear them talking about who they thought their soulmates were or what the color 'green' looked like.

That went on for several weeks until one night, over dinner, he had brought it up, and was then quickly shut down by his mother.

' _They are stupid rumors spread by people who are desperate for love. There is no such thing as soulmates or any other colors than black and white. Only fools believe in such silly things.'_

Of course, after that, he never brought it up again in their presence. He did, however, tried to learn a bit more about it from his older cousin Andromeda, who at the time, had met her soulmate and could see the world in more colors than just black and white.

' _I accidently bumped into Ted on the way to one of my classes, and color just exploded out of nowhere. It's wonderful Sirius. I hope you get to experience it one day."_

And, then, for some reason, Sirius Black decided that soulmates and colors just weren't for him.

He wasn't exactly sure what made him feel that way towards the subject.

Maybe it was the fact that you had to _touch_ your soul mate to know if they were really yours, and since his parents weren't prime examples of people in general, he didn't know that touching people doesn't have to hurt.

Maybe it was the idea of something greater than himself telling him that he should be with this person that irked him. He already got enough of that from his parents; he didn't need more people telling him that.

Maybe it was the feeling that if he ever meets his soulmate, he'd be forever tied down to that person. And he didn't want that. No, he wanted to be free and not be tied down by someone.

So, within a year of finding out the concept of soulmates, Sirius Black, age seven, decided that he would not be controlled or manipulated by the idea.


End file.
